There is a small phrase I want to drill into your subconscious today. Here it is:

No dream comes true until you relax into the peaceful knowing that you will still be elated at life without it.

That’s it. That’s what this moment in your life is trying to teach you.

You’ve spent many years desiring new experiences: a slimmer body, the love of your life, a better financial situation, and a swift manifestation of your grandest professional aspirations.

You’ve spent many years investing action into those desires: knocking on doors, fighting and proving, taking risks and speaking your truth, failing and getting back up, always pulling yourself up from the rubble believing that everything would get better once you made it to the finish line.

You’ve been pushing this massive rock up a steep mountain thinking there is no other choice because you were taught that struggle always comes before happiness, and dreams always come after sacrifice.

In this vision of life (where everything boils down to a steep climb and a big fantastical party waiting for us at the summit), we fall into the trap of seeing the materialization of our dreams as the magic elixir that erases all discomfort, suffering, and pain. We focus on them as "the solution", but they always fall short.

Dreams are beautiful. You’re supposed to want them. You’re supposed to go on the journey to making them real. But you’re not supposed to think that they will make you ‘happy’. You can still be elated at life without them.

No dream comes true until you relax into the peaceful knowing that you will still be elated at life without it.

There is a bitter irony entrenched deep in the modern human condition: we are creatures of scarcity despite having rich and fascinating lives. Our natural state of being is a permanent feeling of emptiness (which we quickly associate with some lack that can be addressed by the fulfillment of a dream).

When we become fixated on a dream, we become fixated on the idea that an external change to our environment can inspire a greater level of happiness we cannot summon from within ourselves. Dreaming inspires us because it shifts the attention of our minds from lack to possibility. Dreaming strengthens us because it reminds us that life is beautiful and often ready to reward us. Dreaming is soothing because it causes us to THINK positive: we visualize desires and develop an indestructible faith in our ability to receive them. But there is a huge difference between “THINKING positive” and “FEELING positive”.

THINKING positive is a robotic act from logic and reason – the mind seeking to influence the body’s emotions through force and repetition. FEELING positive is grounded, effortless, and honest – it cannot be summoned by will, and it cannot be felt unless one has aided their own body in releasing the uncomfortable emotions that are blocking it. Because our dreams cause us to THINK positive, we often fall into the trap of believing their manifestation will finally allow us to FEEL positive.

No dream comes true until you relax into the peaceful knowing that you will still be elated at life without it.

It’s not bad to dream. It’s not bad to want something better than whatever it is that you’re experiencing right now. It’s not bad to be fixated on a future goal that excites you to the core. It’s bad to believe that the things you want are going to make you happier or change you in any way. You are going to be who you are when you materialize your dreams. That includes the traumas, anxieties, fears, and all other things you thought you were escaping by focusing all your attention on your dreams.

It’s not that you can’t get rid of your traumas, anxieties, and fears. It’s not that you can’t heal them.

It’s that the path to experiencing true happiness and the path to manifesting dreams are TWO DIFFERENT PATHS.

They are not one and the same.

You can do both at the same time, but only if you understand that they are separate, equally important, and equally deserving of your attention.

You learn how to be a happier person on one side, and you do whatever you need to do to manifest your dreams on the other.

If you fall into the trap of thinking you are accomplishing both goals simultaneously (through the same actions, strategies and decisions) you will be disappointed when your dreams finally materialize.

The project will be successful.

The soulmate will appear.

The money will be sitting in your checking account.

But the fears, traumas and insecurities will still be there (interfering with your ability to truly enjoy them).

Think of your dreams as an exciting new rollercoaster in your favorite theme park.

When you hop on a rollercoaster, you don’t do it because you think it will change you.

You don’t imagine that it will magically heal your traumas.

You don’t believe that you will walk out of it a more centered and happier person.

You do it for the experience. The adventure attracts you. You want to know what the ride is like.

Fun as the experience may be, you know it has nothing to do with being able to experience true happiness. You just want to know what the ride is like.

That is how you need to start looking at your dreams.

You’re working to manifest them because you want to experience them.

You want to know what it feels like to live that life.

But your journey to healing (and ability to feel true joy regardless of who you are, where you stand and what you have accomplished) is completely separate from it.

When you complete that journey, you will not be so attached to the ultimate materialization of your dreams. You will KNOW that you can be happy regardless of what your life story ends up being.

You will be able to be happy now and tomorrow, in the comfortable and uncomfortable, in the messy and the exciting, in the happy and the unexpected and everything in between.

If feeling true ELATION at life regardless of what you have doesn’t come easy, you make that journey as much of a priority as your dreams. You reach out to the books, experts and professionals who can help you understand what’s standing in the way.

You make it your job until you can finally sit in permanent bliss while you still lack wonderful things.

Manifesting dreams and materializing true happiness are two separate journeys.

You don’t need to prioritize one over the other.

You don’t need to finish one first before getting started on the other.

You just need to understand that they are separate.

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